Things I Never Did Before Becoming a Mom

Once upon a pre-babies land, I would never be caught going to bed with a full face of makeup. I am not one to channel my inner Hindi serial actress as a literal sleeping beauty and, well, I see it as a very unkind thing to do to my skin.

My bed is my haven, it’s where responsibilities end and rest begins. I love making myself squeaky clean for our sacred union. My ritual, in its most basic form, involves vigorously soaped feet, scrubbed and moisturised face, clean sheets if there are any, etc. That’s my idea of an ideal bedtime. (My mother calls me a শুচিবাই).

After having Aryan, I have had to drop my standards prettttty low. I often go days without showers, and occassionally I do the unthinkable – I go to bed with makeup. I can almost hear the shudders from my pre-baby self (ghost?) as I type this.

Makeup in bed was something I RELIGIOUSLY avoided. No matter how tired I was, I would grab a makeup wipe and do due diligence to my skin. Then Baby Aryan came along and Momma had to switch up her lifestyle a bit. (OK, maybe a LOT). Now I walk around with racoon eyes like its the hottest trend off the runway.

From taking off my my nose pin (cuz my baby loves picking on it), to wearing undies from the laundry basket (don’t judge – you know you do strange, time-strapped things too!) – the lifestyle changes to accommodate life as a parent comes thick and fast. And I know I am not the only one going through this harried metamorphosis.

I asked my followers what habits they have picked up after having a wee one. Never have I enjoyed reading the feedback from a Q&A more! The responses were so unique even in their similarities, that I felt like it warranted a blog post.  They range from hilarious to heart-breaking. You might shed a tear or two. Also, there is a lot of poo! You have been warned.

Tell me one thing you never did before becoming a mom.

1. Being responsible.
2. Clean baby’s poop. In fact, I thought I can never clean my baby’s poop.
3. Survive on 3 hours of sleep.
4. Emotionally battle with myself after nursery drop-offs.
5. Accept that career progression will have to come last on my cards.
6. Cry after work because I hated working part time and felt out of loop with the workforce/department.
7. Use dry shampoo.
8. Get out of the house without wearing any lipstick.
9. Be happy seeing another person’s poop colour.
10. Have multiple sleepless nights in a row.
11. Clean poo.
12. Change a poopy diaper.
13. Invest most of my money and keep very little in checking account, forcing myself to save.
14. Believe that patience can also be an acquired skill.
15. Sustain sleep deprivation for 17 long months.
16. Have kalijira and lau like there is no tomorrow.
17. Realise how important compassions is. (this was from a pet mom.)
18. Make fresh parathas after work.
19. I always made my bed in the mornings. Now its messy 24/7.
20. Download reminder apps.
21. Beg another human to eat some food.
22. Learn to say no to people/situations if it bothers me or my baby.
23. Take care of myself. If I am not healthy, who’s going to take care of my baby?
24. Cook food.
25. Eat somebody’s leftovers.
26. Skip showers. That never used to happen.
27. Left home with unironed clothing.
28. Empathise with other moms.
29. Pick poop off the floor.
30. Never washed my clothes. Now I do mine, my kids’ and my hubby’s.
31. Leave a dirty sink behind before hitting the bed.
32. Obsess so much over someone’s poop.
33. Never went to bed braless – to maintain the perk. Now they come off ASAP.
34. Overpack.
35. Never lost track of my important documents, passport or money.
36. Socialize with random people with kids who are friendly with my kid and vice versa
37. Wake up multiple times in the night for someone.
38. Try to help people with a baby by holding the door, carrying car seat, pushing stroller etc.
39. Forget things. Ever since I became a mom, my memory has gone for a toss.
40. Answer million stupid questions from random people about raising my child.
41. Go out without washing hair.
42. Wear sari with sneakers.
43. Carry diaper bag instead of clutch to a party.
44. Live a day without books.
45. Live a routined life and work for house management at pro level.
46. Value sleep. How I wish I had slept and rested more.
47. Clean vomit.
48. Touch someone else’s shit.
49. Eat someone else’s chewed food. Both my toddlers insisted I ate food they had chewed.
50. Poop with a toddler sitting on my lap.
51. Never tied my hair up. But now I can hardly untie it.
52. Guess looking at an infant/baby/toddler thay they are pooping.

Oh baby, you have made a mother out of me.